Nothing Special Here

I think of how I used to be ...... I wonder. 

I wonder why should anybody put any kind of value into what I have to say? 

After all, I was just your everyday, passing out drunk , and have no one to blame but myself. I mean sure, I had your everyday problems like every other kid had growing up, but everyone has their  problems right? The fact that my dad would beat the hell out of me when he was drinking for no other reason than because I was being an eight year old and did what eight year olds do means nothing. Somtimes it would even become a family affair when he got real bad and my mom and brothers & sister would try to pull him off of me. 

And thus , was my childhood.

 So everybody has their own problems. I'm not telling you this because I  want sympathy. I'm telling you this because a lot of times there are  unforeseen circumstances in a person's life that you may not know about, and they may never talk about. That's the way I grew up so that's all I knew

I guess I could be bitter and ask where was God then when I needed Him, but I don't ask. Or I guess I could have told the world that maybe I might have a legitimate reason for being an alcoholic, but I kept quiet. . 

And you want to know the funny part about this? The whole time my dad was yelling and whipping that belt around,  all I could think about is, "Why"? "Why are you doing this to me"? "Can't you see how much I love you "? "How can you do this to someone that loves you, and I thought you loved me, so how can you do this"? I never hated my father for what he did though.

Dear Jesus, I can't even begin to imagine what you went through for all mankind on that day when you were so brutally demoralized  and tortured ,and then to look to your Father and ask that He forgive them! Because no matter what they did to you, you never stopped loving them. That's pretty awesome! 

Gino